Fighting Instinct
by crazy-4-kniha
Summary: Ok basically a Jommy with Tommy trying oh so hard to resist what comes so natural to him. When he gives in will he just screw it up more? Not really sure where it will go please R&R.thanks
1. Ya can look but ya cant touch

Ok well this is my first fanfic so its probably not that good but please R&R and tell me what you think. Thanks. Oh and I own nothing from instant star at all.

**Fighting Instinct**

Ch.1 (maybe?)

"Tommy!!! Come on were going to be late!! I am not going to be the one to explain to Georgia why we were late to my own party again!!!!!"

"Sheesh, hold your horses girl. Do you want me to show up in jeans and a t-shirt?Unless it has somehow changed to non-formal?"

"Tommy!!!!!"

"Fine relax Jude I'm ready, don't keel over. I'm here I'm ready, lets move out."

"Finally"

As they were walking to his car he couldn't help but admire how good she looked in the little black dress. To bad she wasn't his to have, but that stupid fool speed's. If he had ever seen a odder kid he wasn't aware of it. I mean what kind of name is speed its not a real name and Jude deserves someone with a real name, she just has so much potential. Ugghh don't go there Tommy, you know better she's only 16 and innocent. _Well at least i hope she's innocent still __if not Speed's a dead man_. Huh, if she ever truly new what went on in his head she'd probably never want to be alone with him again. Shed be scarred for life.

"Tommy !Tommy !!!Tommy!!!!! What the heck is wrong with you, start your car we do have places to be you know."

Shit how did I just space out like that, I gotta snap out of it. Starting his car he headed down to G-Major. On the drive he allowed his mind to wander, knowing no one would be on the back roads.

It's a wonder she let him drive her at all. After the fiasco at her 16th birthday he wouldn't really have blamed her if she had stayed mad, but what he had done really was for the best even if she didn't agree. I mean ya I am a way better choice than speed but there's the whole age thing it just wouldn't work.

Looking at her now he saw that she was lost in thought. Hmm probably worried over the party. Its really her own fault that it was happening. If she hadn't said to EJ that she had never had a half birthday party it never would have put the idea into her head to actually throw the stupid party. I mean who would throw a half birthday party? Didn't she realize that anything that could be some publicity EJ would do no matter how rediculis.

Oh well at least it lets me see Jude in that tiny little dress. I wonder if she notices that its riding up her legs. Don't look Quincy, bad Quincy don't look she's only 16. _But she'll be __17 soon and she doesn't care about __age._ But I do and I cant do that to her. _Oh god just a few __more inches. How can she not be __noticing this?_ Checking on Jude he discovered she was asleep.

What the heck am I doing?Checking out a 16 yr old while she sleeps? _but she's such a mature 16 __with that body she could __at least pass for 19._ Okay focus just a little farther than we'll be at G-major and I'll have other distractions other than Jude's glories legs. Okay so no more thinking about that, just what else is there?Um Darius, ya kinda hard to think about anything like that with Darius being anywhere in my thoughts._Oh god I can see the edge her panties!!! why does she have to be such a restless sleeper. _Shit ok um rats, uh horror movies. What the heck else is there? I have to wake her up or i won't make it.

"Jude, Jude" calling her name softly then a little louder trying to wake her up with no success. Damn I should have remembered she sleeps like a log she wont wake up for anyone. Oh thank god were here.

"JUDE, JUDE wake up were here JUDE"

"whhhatttt, where are we?" Jude yawned out.

Seeing the state of her dress she quickly pulls it down and peeks a look at Tommy.

He looks at her blankly barely keeping his gaze bland hoping she wouldn't now he saw.

_ Thank __goodness he doesn't seem to notice what happened to my dress I don't think I could stand it __if he saw me like that, _Jude thinks as she gets out of his viper.

" so you ready to join the party or are we going to stand out here all day?" Tommy asks her trying to figure out what's going on in her head.

"oh yea lets go. Hopefully it wont last to long."

"If EJ has her way it will last all night," Tommy tries to remind her.

"Yeah but EJ isn't wearing a dress that could technically be a t-shirt" Jude pouts.

"You look great girl, every guy in the place will be looking at you" _and if any try to touch you they will wish they were never born._

"Okay lets get this over with" Jude sighs leading the way.


	2. Problems

ok so here ch.2 . its not that much but im still not to sure whereto take it so it might be a little vague. please R&R. i own nothing at all of Instant Star. hope you like

**Problems**

"Jude you're here, so why don't you start circulating the room, there are some importing music records here, so try to make a good impression." Georgia says giving Jude a little push towards a music exec.

Turning to face Tommy she had a strange expression on her face. It looked sort of sad sort of mad. "Tommy we have a problem." she says quietly.

"what kind of problem?" Tommy asks, getting worried. He knew that G-Major was hanging on by a thread, mainly still out there cause of Jude. If it was something to do with that they all might be in some trouble.

" Well G-Major's has been bought out." she replies sadly " Darius found out about the loans and went to the bank offering to cover them all so long as he would get G-Major and they…. accepted. As of now I no longer have ownership."

"But I thought everything was in order, we were paying daily"

"Not… exactly. The last few months have been really tough and Jude hasn't been doing that well with the public and we've missed a few payments here and there."

"We have to tell Jude" Tommy says anxiously, looking around for where she was.

"No she has to act normal for the party. After, once everyone has left, we can break the news." She tells him tersely stopping him from walking up to Jude " So far everyone's jobs are still safe but I don't know how long Darius will wait before firing people he thinks are expendable. I am not going to be working for him however. EJ decided to stay but I just can't. I was offered a job in New York and I'm going to take it."

"Georgia what about Jude's record, about all the records for all the artists?"

"they'll just keep going as they've been going, and hopefully Darius won't cut anyone's albums. I am just telling you know so you wont be surprised if Darius comes to gloat. Jude however does not need to know right this minute. Understood?" Georgia says forcefully.

" Ya I get it. Don't tell Jude and act normal." he says tiredly

"Good now lets get this over with. Oh and can you try and keep Jude away from Darius for now, if you can and I'll see what I can do about everyone job wise."

"Sure Georgia" Tommy walks off and begins searching for Jude, which was not as easy as it should have been. Eventually he found her in the middle of a group of guys, who were all very obviously trying to get her number.

Seeing Tommy, Jude smiled with relief and had a reason to excuse herself.

"thanks for rescuing me those guys just wouldn't take the hint. They didn't believe me when I said I

already had boyfriend. Can you believe that?" _oh yes I can if they've been seeing what I've been seeing._

_A few inches shorter and that dress would be considered indecent. What the heck had EJ been thinking? _

"So Jude how's the circulating been going? Met anyone really famous that you've decided to run away with?" He asks jokingly.

"Aww Quincy you know the only man I'd run away with is you, what with you good looks and charm" Jude replies sarcastically.

"Oh you wound me girl." _ya, me and any guy within drooling distance._

"whatever. So Tommy have you seen Sadie? I've been looking for her everywhere but I can't find her." Jude asks worriedly. Everyone new that Sadie was always anxious about party's and never missed one if possible.

"no but maybe her and Kwest just got a flat or something. He said he'd been having some car trouble recently." He replies distractedly, trying so damn hard to keep his eyes on her face and not any lower.

" Ya that's probably it, I just don't like the thought of….. Hey Quincy my eyes are up here not down there." she tells him, annoyed that he wasn't listening to her but focusing his, ah attentions, elsewhere on her.

" what oh uh sorry yeah I'll just give Kwest a call, see what's going on if it will put your mind at ease" he says apologetically

"Thanks" she replies softly, knowing that speed would never have humored her, just said she was imagining things, and to chill out.

"Yea well it's no problem" he says slightly embarrassed, opening his phone and dialing Kwest's number.

"Hey man where are you? Jude's getting worried bout her sister." Tommy asked absent mindidly while wondering if there was a way for him to get Jude to bend over.

"We're stuck in the middle of nowhere. The stupid engine decided to die on me and Sadie's been complaining a mile a minute. Would ya mind driving out to pick her up and bring her to the party while I deal with this hunk a junk?"

"No problem just give me a few minutes and I'll find a way to leave unnoticed. Where exactly are you?" Tommy asks.

"Just about 3 miles down road 56. Thanks man." "yea no problem."

" So are they okay and everything?" Jude asks anxiously. Ever since there mom had taken off with her lawyer Jude had become protective of Sadie.

"There fine just some car trouble. I'll go and get your sister and be back in no time. In the mean time you just stay here and mingle." Tommy says.

Then, as casually as possible, he leaves G-Major and does something he'll probably regret for a long, long time.


	3. Hidden Truths

Okay so i know this isnt really the chapter you wanted but i need it here so the rest makes sense. youll now really soon the really stupid thing Tommy does. so hope you enjoy. Please R&R. the next ch. should be posted really soon. i own nothing from instant star.

**Hidden Truths**

"Hey. Are you Jude?"

Turning around Jude comes face to face with the biggest dude she's ever seen. He had to be at least 6 feet 5.

"Uh, yep that's me. Who wants to know?"

"James. James Clarkson of Techno Records. Nice to meet you." he said with a bit of a smile. He knew how his size intimidated some and tried to use it to his advantage.

"Nice to meet you too. Well I hope you have a good evening but I really have to go talk to someone. Excuse me." Jude tried to get around him but he blocked her way.

"I was just wondering if you've been considering changing studios of late?"

"changing studios? Why would I want to do that?"

"why because G-Major has changed hands of course. Everyone's wonder what the famous Jude Harrison has decided to do."

"yes well I have to go and um bye" _what the heck is he talking about G-Major changing __hands. Georgia owns it. Doesn't she? _

Walking up to Georgia with a bit a panic showing on her face, Georgia knew Jude knew,

"hey Jude how about we talk in my office. Okay?"

"Uh yea okay", Jude mumbled out as she let Georgia lead her to her office.

"what exactly is going on Georgia? Some guy said G-Major has changed hands. So either he's lying, or you haven't been telling me everything. So which is it?"

"Okay just sit down for a second okay and I'll tell you everything. Just calm down", Georgia tried to say soothingly.

Sitting down Jude tried to think of who would have bought G-Major, especially since it was in such bad shape, and of course the only name she could come up with was Darius's. I mean who else would do it?

"The companies in bad condition, you know that Jude. The bank decided to take an offer from Darius" _so i was right_ "to pay off all the loans as long as he gets control of G-Major and they accepted. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I wanted you to act normal during your party. You can't let this effect your career. Now I want you to go out there and show everyone that you can deal with whatever is thrown your way. Just so you don't worry your job is safe, as is most of the employees. I however have decided to start working someplace else, so tonight is probably the last night we'll be seeing each other as Darius takes control of the company tomorrow."

"wow I thought that it was just a joke or something."

"no joke. now please go out and mingle."

"okay. Well then I guess this is bye."

Walking out all Jude could think of was just Oh-My-Gosh. She knew that this kinda thing happened she hadn't expected it to happen here. Here she new she could trust Georgia, but with Darius, she just didn't know.

"Hey dude. What's up?" Speed says as her comes up behind her putting his hands around her waist.

"not much. Did you know about G-Major and the take over?" Jude asks suddenly.

"well uh…" Speed said as he guiltily looked at his feet.

"you knew and you didn't tell me? How could you not tell me?"

"well Georgia said not too and she's my boss."

"and I'm your girlfriend. Does that mean nothing to you?" Jude asks angrily

"Yea but I need my job." he says, trying to fix his mistake, but really just making it worse.

"yea I guess more than you need a girl friend."

"Come on Jude lets not do this here. Think this through. I know this is just coming from your reaction to the news you don't really mean it." Speed says quickly trying to get her to reconsider what she was probably thinking of doing doing.

"no for the first time in quiet a while I'm doing what I really want. So ya, we are through and I mean it really truly. " With that said Jude turning and left G-Major with only two things reallyon her mind. _I really need to get home, _and_ I cant wait to see Tommy_.


	4. Stupid Mistakes

Okay so heres another chapter. I really am sorry about what tommy does but I had to use the worst thing I thought he could do and this was it. Please R&R. it might not be that good it was kinda difficult to write. I own nothing zip nada zilch of instant star.

**Stupid Mistakes**

The drive to kwest seemed to be taking way longer than it should, and all he could think about was how good Jude had looked. He knew that it wasn't right for him to think of her in that way but damn, he tried so hard not too but it was hopeless. Every time he looked at her, that was it she was all he could think of. He knew she wouldn't appreciate how much he thought about her but he just couldn't help himself. She was just so damn good to everyone. Especially with Sadie. That girl had just messed her life up so bad. I don't even know why, since Jude wont tell me about it. I think I must be the only other person than Jude to really knew that Sadie had turned into a bit of a drunk, Jude hid it so well. Sadie was just so completely opposite than Jude. She was self-centered, didn't care about other people's feelings. Poor Qwest had been trying to date her for awhile and all she does is ignore him.

Darn where the heck are they, he said it wasn't that far away. There they okay lets just get Sadie, then I can try and figure out what to do with Jude.

finding them though he didnt exactly find what he thought he would find.

"hey man, thank god you're here," Kwest said with obvious relief in his voice "im not to sure where she got the booze, or how she got wasted quite so fast but she did. She keeps trying to sing 'Pick Up The Pieces', _trying _being the right word."

"Damn, okay um how drunk is drunk exactly?"

"You'll see." Kwest answers, almost laughing at how Sadie was acting

"Heeeyy, when did you get here" _hic, _turning back to Qwest " why arent we leaving yet, we're supposed to be at the party and i wanna Par-Tee" Sadie managed to say, while walking very unsteadily towards Tommy.

"hey Tommy wanna be my date for tonight? We'll have soo much fun" and with that she fell over into Tommy and passed out.

_great, just great. I cant take her to the party like this, Jude would kill me if I did. __Well at least she hasn't thrown up yet. that's one good thing I guess._

Gently, Tommy picked up Sadie and put her in his passanger seat, then went back to Kwest.

"how long has she been like this?"

"oh, about 20 minutes."

"damn, ill have to take her home, shes in no condition to go to a party. Have you figured out whats wrong with your car?"

"yea the engine blew, so im getting it towed. Would you mind dropping me off at the party, there's no reason we both have to take her home."

"sure but you'll have to hold her on your lap til we get there. I only have to seats remember?"

"yea okay"

Waiting for the tow truck didn't take to long, since it came about 8 minutes later. After that all that was left to do was to drop Qwest off and get a very drunk Sadie home. Seriously I don't think I've ever seen her this wasted. I mean I knew that things had gotten pretty bad for her, what with Jude trying to fix it all but I didn't think that it was THIS bad.Gosh and Jude's been having to deal with this and her own music career and school. I'm surprised she hasn't had a mental break down.

"whoa, man you passed G-Major" Qwest says a little anxiously. Sadie had been getting a little, ahem, friendly during the drive and he looked in a hurry to get out SOON.

"Sorry man, must not of been paying attention" Tommy says absently while turning around and driving into G-Majors lot "Well I guess I'll see you either at the party or tomorrow

depending on how long it takes to get Sadie to sleep."

"Uh, yea okay. See ya, have fun" Qwest says with a bit of sarcasm as he leaves to go to the party.

The drive itself was interesting. I had to stop the car at 3 times because, and I quote, she thought she was going to 'hurl chunks'. luckily they were just false alarms. Then came the part when we were about 1 mile away from her home and she decided she wanted to finish the rest of ride on my lap, and literally just jumped on me. I should have prevented her from doing it I know but I hadn't really been paying attention at the time. To be completely honest I was thinking of Jude, and how much I really wanted to be dating her. Cause then I would have a legitimate reason to wanting to stare at her all the time. I don't think she actually knew her own effect on me when she showed up at the studio in a tiny little mini skirt or a tank top. When I first met her I wouldn't have even been able to imagine her wearing one but then Sadie has started to influence her. I mean really why couldn't we date? There were a lot of couples who had way more years between them. Any way Jude will be 17 in a few months. And EJ wouldn't be mad cause to her any publicity is good publicity, and me and Jude dating would get a TON of publicity. So maybe I should try cause it could work. I mean I wouldn't go to far with her she was still to young but we could do some stuff. and then Speed wouldn't have his hands on her at all.

That kid just, ughrhggr, it would be so easy to hit him some times. Like when he started making out with her and his hand just happened to find its way under her shirt. Like god I was still in the room.

Sadly that was where my thoughts ended as a very drunk Sadie landed in my lap, almost causing me to drive straight into the ditch.

Finally we reached her house and I had to carry her to the door since she had some trouble actually staying on her feet.

"Tommy, why are we here? I wanna go out and party!!!!!" Sadie said angrily, (well as angrily as someone who couldn't walk could say)

"you're here cause you had a little to much to drink"

"I did? Well at least I have you then. Right Tommy?"

"yep. I guess you do" tommy said quietly while carrying her up to her room, and laying her down onto her bed.

"do you have any P-Jays? or anything ?Sadie cause I don't think you wanna go to sleep in that dress."

"whhaaa, umm yep in the sloset to your right" she said giggling slightly, when she got a crazy idea in her head that she should spend the night with Tommy. Since she was so drunk she didn't really think about what she was doing, just took off all her slothes while Tommy was looking in her closet then attacking him with kisses when he turned around.

Tommy reacting automatically kissed her back. He didn't really seem to realize that he was doing this with Judes **sister**, just reacted. Kissing her back, he lets her undress him, helping her when she was just to wobbly to do it. Slowly he backed them up to her bed and they lightly fell onto it.he lightly grasped her breast's slightly squeezing. Reaching down to her thigh he lighting traced his way to her center, pressing in a few of his fingers. Removing them he kissed her lightly before entering her. When he entered her though all he was think about was Jude, and without realizing, started pretending it was Jude he was doing everything to.

After they had both had both climaxed he laid there thinking about what he'd down. He had slept with Jude's SISTER. He couldn't believe it. After he had decided to try and ask Jude out. How could he be so stupid, so brainless. He loved Jude not Sadie, and yet he'd done this!

Out of nowhere his phone started ringing. Startled he picked it up, and seeing it was Jude, looked anxiously at Sadie who was laying there with a HUDE smile on her face obviously not as drunk as he has thought, answered the phone.

"Hey Jude, What's up?" he said guiltily

"Tommy they, they lied to me. I can understand why Georgia had I mean for my career and all but Speed did to. And, and he's my boyfriend he's supposed to care about me. How could he not tell me?"

"okay slow done. What did they lie to you about?"

"about G-Major and how it got sold. I broke up with speed and I'm just so upset. Wait. Did you know about it to Tommy?"

"Well yes but I really did want to tell you but I just didn't want to upset you cause well it was important for you to look normal and everything. Look I'm sorry Jude I really did want to tell you I just couldn't"

"Why couldn't you? I kinda expected this from Speed but not you Tommy."

"Jude please forgive me I really am sorry."

"I don't know!!!! I want to but you should have told me!!!!"

"I know just im sorry."

"whatever. Ill talk to you tomorrow"

Unknown to Tommy who was distracted by trying to figure out from the conversation whether or not he was forgiven, and Sadie who was currently watching Tommy carefully wondering if he regretted what they had done, Jude had entered her house. She walked up the stairs and almost went to her room but then decided to get some chocolate from Sadie's. She knew that Sadie had a secret stash just in case she had a particularly bad day.

By the time Tommy realized someone was opening the door it was to late to hide and that's how Jude saw them. Both naked, draped over each other, and obviously just finished have um well you know. At first all she could think was _'eewwwwwwwwwwwww' _. then though it really hit her what she was seeing. Tommy, HER Tommy naked with Sadie, Sadie who knew she loved Tommy, on Sadie's bed, obviously just finished doing whatever what they were doing.

Upon realizing that she broke down first looking shocked and then disgusted at what she was seeing and then horribly heartbroken. She ran out of Sadie's room as fast as she could, as well as there house, her only thought of getting as far away as possible.

All Tommy could do was lay there with a shocked expression on his face.

So what do ya think? Good? Horrible? please tell i can take it


	5. Realizations

okay heres the nect chapter. srry it took awhile but eglish exams started and are a week long so im tryin to focus on pasin em'. hope you like this chapter. please R&R. thanks to all have reviewed already.

Ch.5

"damn, damn, damn, DAMN!!! How could I be so stupid?to actually think that Tommy cared for me. If he cared he wouldn't have slept with my sister AND kept the selling of G-Major a secret from me. I mean, I could have forgiven him for the G-Mayjor thing but nooooooo, he just had to go and screw up everything again, like he always seems to do. Ho-ho-how c-could he do this to me" Jude ranted out loud slightly breaking down at the end, as she tried to figure out where she could go.

Not over to Jamie's, since Kat was staying the night. No she would not appreciate that, probably accuse me of trying to steal her boyfriend again, even though I'd stopped thinking of him in that way long ago. I can't go to Speeds cause I broke up with him so I'm just screwed. How the hell can I have no place to go? How had I gotten to a place where I couldn't rely on my own friends?

Thinking it over she decided she'd had enough. Enough of trying to help Sadie when it was a losing battle, enough of having to take care of the house all by herself, enough of Kat hating her guts because of something she had no control over, enough of pining away after Tommy when all he did was hurt her over and over again. He'll probably come after me, beg my forgiveness.

"should I forgive him?" Jude asked herself out loud trying to come up with a solution.

"Yes" she wouldn't let him and Sadie make her bitter, its not like I was dating him or anything, but I wont forget. I cant let him keep hurting me like this.

"I'll get my own place!" it came to her all of a sudden.

She was 16 after all and could get her own apartment, all she had to do was get her parents signature and since she'd perfected forging theirs when she was younger it would be a problem. She had all the money she needed what with record sales. with her own apartement she wouldnt have to deal with Sadie's daily dramas. if Sadie was old enough to sleep with Tommy she was old enough to take care of herself to.

Suddenly she felt happy. She knew what she was going to do with her life. She would move out and live on her own. And deciding, she'd had enough of guys. All of them were just complete assholes not caring for anyone but themselves any way, so I don't need them. I can take care of myself all on my own.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tommy come back to bed, please, we can have so much fun." Sadie was saying a bit drunk still.

Looking at her, Tommy felt a burst of disgust, some for her but also a hole heck of alot for himself. how could he have just down.. that with...her. At the sound of her voice Tommy felt a sudden burst of anger.

"Is that all you can think about? Your SISTER just walked in on us and your not the least bit worried?"

"Nah, Jude and you aren't dating so I don't see why I would. Its none of her business who I date. oh-my-god I'm dating little Tommy Q!!!" Sadie screeched happily at the end, as though it finally hit her what she and Tommy had done.

"No, uhuh, we are not dating, no way. What just happened should not have happened. I'm sorry Sadie but it shouldn't of. You must think nothing of Jude's feelings at all for you to act like this."

"oh, Tommy don't be like that we know we both wanna be dating so lets just do it, Jude can take care of herself."

"Sadie I knew you were selfish but I didn't know that you were like this to your own sister. I've gotta go find Jude and explain, try to get her to forgive me, forgive us, if she can."

With that said Tommy quickly walked out the Sadie's room, and left their house so quickly he didnt here her quietly whisper "we will date, you'll see."

He stood outside for maybe 10 minutes trying to think of where Jude might have gone and came up clueless. Would she even talk to him after what she'd seen?


	6. Deceivingly Broken

**so heres another chapter. any one have a good idea for a song? i've been looking through some ive got and im not to sure yet. next chapter might take a little while to get here have to learn whole chem. chapter and worry about exams. Please R&R.**

**Decievingly Broken**

Apartment hunting was harder than she'd thought it would be. All the ones she'd seen so far were either to expensive, in to bad of a neighbor hood, or just had plain creepy neighbors.

She hadn't told anyone yet that she was going to move out, she didn't want to have to deal with them trying to convince her to stay. Sadly, until then she still had to live with Sadie which was turning into hell. All she kept talking about was _Tommy_, how they were dating now, how much he _loved_ her. It really sickened me, I mean she didn't even realize how upset she was making me, just kept on talking about it.

Tommy though was a different matter altogether. I'd thought I could forgive him but it's much harder than it should have been. He kept trying to get me alone, to apologize she guessed, but she just couldn't be alone with him yet, her emotions were just too raw. She knew he was wondering how she was reacting but she just couldn't let him see her break down, and if she talked to him now she knew that she would, just embarrassing herself.

G-Major hadn't really changed all that much, the only change mainly being that Georgia was gone and in her place stood Darius. She still wasn't too sure to make of that. On one hand she knw that he was good at what he did, considering all those artists he'd help make it big, but on the other she knew she did whatever necessary to get there and she knew she wouldn't be able to stamp on someone else's career just to further her own.

"Jude, hey I wanted to talk to you about a knew song, one that you could sing at the party where we announce G-major's change of hands" Darius said, coming up behind her, startling her out of her thoughts.

"Yea, sure Darius. What kind of song were you thinking of happy? sad? somewhere in between?" Jude asked while trying to think if any of the songs she'd written recently would fit.

"whatever you pick is good, as long as its good. We need to show them that G-Major has real talent, so try and make it extra good."

"yea, sure, sure. Um, when exactly is this party going to be, so I know how much time I have for the song?"

"well we're thinking of having it in about one week, here at G-Major. Oh and EJ wanted me to ask you to go talk to her about what your going to wear. Well that's it, get back to work" Darius finished as he turned and walked away.

Finding EJ was harder than it should have been. In the end it turned out she wasn't even there, and she'd just wasted half an hour looking for her. Looking at the clock she realized it was time to leave, since she still had homework to finish for school, stupid chemistry.

Walking outside, Jude walked over to her car. Trying to start it she discovered that it wouldn't start.

"Damn, damn, damn!! Why today of all days?" she grumbled to herself as she popped the hood intending to see if there was anything she could do to start it up. She'd either killed the battery or her engine had blown. Tommy had been telling her for weeks to get it fixed, but she'd just kept putting it off. Looking at the engine Jude realized she had no real idea what she was looking at, so she wouldn't be able to tell what was wrong with it anyways. Closing the hood with a dejected sigh. She turned around a leaned against her hood trying to consider her options. She couldn't call Sadie, she knew she wouldn't be able to deal with being stuck in a vehicle with Sadie for even a little while. All the garages were already closed so she couldn't call one to come and tow her. Realizing that she was really had only one option, to call Sadie, she knew she was going to go mad if bad things kept happening to her.

"Jude, having car trouble? Need a lift home" turning to see who had spoken, she saw Tommy walking towards her.

Which was worse, having to drive with Tommy who she could just ignore, or drive with Sadie and have to listen to her talk about hers and Tommy's sex life. Choosing the lesser of to evils she chose Tommy, really hoping she could keep it together and not lose it in his car, Jude went to get her phone and bag out of her car, locked the doors, then walked over to Tommy and said "um yea, thanks" all the while thinking _oh-god. What have I done. Excepting a ride from Tommy._

Shaking her head at her own stupidity she got in his viper, wondering what he was planning on say.


	7. You Make Me Wanna YELL

**Yippee heres another ch. i didnt think i would have another for awhile but i finished my homework so im super happy. next one wont be for about a week. srry this might ot be the ch. you wont but i cant make it to easy for tommy. plz R&R. thanx to everyone who has so far. i own nothing of instant star.**

**You Make Me Wanna YELL**

As soon as Jude got into his car she knew she had made a mistake. She should have just called Sadie rather then subject herself to this type of torture. Studying him out of the corner of her eye, hoping he wouldn't notice, she couldn't help but admire how good looking he was. If only he was ugly, then she could deal with it, or if he wasn't so sweet sometimes. But no, he was both of those things and that's why she liked him, well until he'd slept with her own sister.

Turning to look out the window all she could do was hope the ride home was super quick and that he didn't feel the need to discuss what she'd seen. Sadly though her hopes would not be fulfilled .

"So Jude you've been evading me all week. Don't you think its time we talked?"

"What, me evading? No I haven't been avoiding you I've just been really busy, you know with the music and school and everything, and there isn't anything really to talk about is there? I mean I'm fine, I'm even not mad, so we don't even have to talk about it" Jude said as she rambled on trying to make sure he couldn't talk.

"Yes Jude, there are things to talk about," Tommy said with a bit of a sigh. He'd been dreading this talk to but he knew that he had to try and explain to her, try to get her to forgive him. Even though she said she wasn't mad at him, he knew she was, she couldn't hide anything from him, he just knew her too well.

Looking at her now he knew he'd hurt her, and deeply by the looks of it. Sighing again he knew he just had to dive in, like ripping off band aid. Do it fast and it wouldn't hurt as bad.

" Jude about what you saw with your sister and me. Well it wasn't what you think not really."

"So then you didn't sleep with her then? Cause it really looked like you did from my point of view unless your telling me I was hallucinating ."

"No, I mean we did sleep together, but it didn't mean anything. I didn't really want to be with her. She just attacked me. She was drunk and I was just trying to get her into her bed to sleep it off. I didn't think you'd appreciate me taking her to your party as drunk as she was. She took off her clothes while I was trying to find her something to changing into so she wouldn't go to sleep with her dress on, and started kissing me. I just… reacted."

"So what your saying is you _accidentally_ slept with my sister, is that right? Well you know Tommy it takes two to have sex so you must have been willing at some point" Jude pointed out, starting to raise her voice and knew that she'd lose it soon if she didn't get control of herself.

"And if she was so drunk then you just took advantage of her. Do you know she thinks you two are dating? That she thinks that you love her? Are you going to put her straight or just keep stringing her along, so that just incase you need a little roll in the hay you'll have someone willing and waiting?"

"No Jude please listen to me, its not like that." he pleaded hopelessly "I was well really um aroused and Sadie just well I just lost control. I didn't mean for it to happen. I don't want Sadie, I want you Jude. I was thinking about YOU the whole time. You have no idea what the sight of you in the tiny little dress did to me. I wanted you so badly. Look I know your young and all and I shouldn't have these types of feelings for you but I do. Do you think you could give me another chance? Please? I really am sorry I hurt you."

"No, you know what Tommy, you could have all the chances in the world and you still wouldn't get it right. You think I can just forgive you for sleeping with MY SISTER, when she was drunk no less. And you have the GALL to say its MY fault because I looked too good in a dress. No Tommy this one is completely on you."

"Jude I didn't mean it like that. I'm not blaming you for anything. I'm just trying to explain why what happened, happened. Can't you find it in yourself to forgive me, at least enough so we can stay friends?"

Hearing Tommy act like she should just be able to get over it just like that made Jude snap. Out of no where she started yelling and shouting at him saying " Stay FRIENDS? You want to stay friends. You can go screw yourself Tommy. I've had it with you trying to just charm your way out of every mistake you make. All you've done since we've met is make a mess of my life. I actually LIKED Jamie, I might have really been able to be happy with him, but no you came and just ruined everything. That's all you do!!!!!! Ruin everything that makes me happy. Making me promise to forget the kiss we shared at my 16th birthday? Do you know how much that hurt me? To have to try and pretend like nothing had changed between us." Jude now having completely lost it, started sobbing, and having enough, asked him to pull over. When he refused, she threatened to just jump out of it while he was driving if he didn't.

Knowing that he had lost control of the situation Tommy pulled over to the side of the road, while looking at Jude, who had tears streaming down her face. He hadn't known he'd hurt her so much, was so sorry he'd caused her pain.

Taking one last tearful look at Tommy, Jude got out of the Viper and started walking home. Luckily they hadn't been to far from her house, because it started raining as soon as Tommy drove off. Jude knowing that she'd said too much, just gave up. She knew that she wouldn't be able to deal with Sadie at the moment, so she figured when she got there she'd just sneak up to her room and lock the door, and hopefully Sadie would leave her the hell alone.

------------------------------------------------

Tommy around this time was sitting at his home trying to think of a way to make up for all the pain he'd caused her. He knew he'd have to set Sadie straight, if only so Jude wouldn't think he was stringing her along. Now that was not one conversation he would be looking forward to. He knew from previous experience that Sadie did not handle rejection well. After that he would just have to try and win back Jude's trust. She wouldn't be willing to even see him as a friend unless he did something drastic and very soon. The question was, what could be big enough to win her back?


	8. Disgusting Secrets

I'm so sorry that it's taken so long for this chapter but I've been stressing about chemistry but that all done with now so future ch. shouldn't take as long. thanks letitrain810 for the song idea. so far its between that one and one other that i found not to sure which one it'll be. so please R&R tell me if i messed it up with this ch. i own nothing of instant star.

**Disgusting Secrets**

_Oh-my-gosh this place is so perfect._

"So what do you think of the place?" I turned to look at Cody, who was showing me around on the most perfect apartment.

"I love it!! How soon can I move in?" I twirled around taking it all in. It wasn't really bigm but had enough room for all of my things. I was only one person after all.

"Well as soon as you like. But there is one thing about your age. You said you were only 16 didn't you? You'll need your parents written consent to be able rent it. Will that be a problem?" he said while looking at me, seeming slightly worried.

"Nope, no problem at all actually I have their written consent with me actually. They weren't sure when I'd find one so they gave it to me earlier. They had to move for a job, and since I wanted to stay with my friends they thought it would be a good experience for me." I lied flawless, knowing he was eating it all up. I think he might even have a bit of a crush on me, the way he was looking at me when we were downstairs. It was kind of distgusting since he had to be at least 35, and had a wedding ring on, but I'd put up with it as long as I could move into this gorgeous apartment. I mean it was 10 minutes away from the studio and 20 minutes aways from school. All I really had to worry about would be them finding out that my parents hadn't really given me consent but hopefully the letter that they had_supposedly _written would be enough.

"Ok well than all that's left is for you to sign the lease and it's all yours. Also there are some regulations. If you are going to be moving and heavy furniture into you apartment you must notify us so we can okay it. You don't need to worry about doing that with a bed or couch since those are normal items, but if you put a knew fridge in their or anything we would like to know. Also you can decorate and paint within reason. If we have any reason to suspect anything inappropriate and illegal is going on we hold the right to enter your apartment without your prior knowledge. Will all that be okay?"

_Enter my apartment when I'm not their? Hell no that wont be okay._

"Uh yea, sure just let me look over the lease and I can get it back to you right away."

"Okay well here you go. If you ever need anything, anything at all just give me a call." He told me with a smile that told that he meant that with a double meaning. Could he actually think I would be _attracted_ to someone old enough to be my _dad_ and was _married_? God, why the hell are all men so dense.

"Yep, can do. So once I give this back to you I can move in?"

"Yes you can. Once you give me back the lease I'll give you the keys and you'll be all set."

"Great, well I have to go know, but thank you so much for showing me the apartment." With that I left quickly. Hopefully I wouldn't have to spend _too _much time with him, he just gave me the creeps. Well at least I know have an apartment. Now all I have to do is beak the news to Sadie. _Oh joy._

---------------------------------------------------

"Sadie please be reasonable. You'll be completely fine by yourself. I just can't live here any more. I'd think you'd be happy. You'll have the whole house to yourself."

"No Jude you can't move out. You have to stay here. Your not even 18, so you can't even legally live by yourself yet." Sadie finished saying, looking obviously smug, like she'd found a way to stop me.

"No Sadie, I'm moving out and it's your decision."

"No it might not be mine but I bet it's is mom's and dads. Or did you conveniently forget to tell them?"

Damn she did have me their but she obviously doesn't realize I have way worse things on her than she has on me.

"Oh and would it also be their concern to know that you made out with coach Smith? Or that you had sex with the school guidance counselor when you were 14?"

"I-I-I don't know what your talking about I never did anything like that."

"Sadie don't play dumb. Mom and Dad might have not known but I do and so does pretty much the whole school." Oh god I feel so sick doing even saying these things out loud but I know if I don't she really would call Mom maybe even Dad. I just couldn't really believe that she'd done that with either of them. First off our gym teacher is like 40 something and not exactly fit, so I'm pretty sure the only reason she did that was to pass PE. The guidance counselor though I really don't know why she would subject herself to that.

"Look I don't want to tell anyone anything and I'm pretty sure you don't want me to either so you keep quiet about what you know and I'll keep quiet about what I know. Got it?"

"You know what? Fine. I don't want you living here anyways. All you ever do is flirt with my boyfriends, when it's so obvious that all they want is me. Just like your trying to steal Tommy from me. He loves ME not you."

All I could do was just look at her with shock. Since when had I flirted with her boyfriends? The only one I want that she has is Tommy and I've never flirted with him. _Well at least not in front of her._

Not that I want Tommy any ways. He's a jerk and will always be one.

Deciding that it would be worthless to try and argue with her I just turned away from her and went up to my room to pack all my stuff.

I had to admit though I didn't really have all that much. I had already earlier come up and dismantled my bad and loaded it into my car, which I had just gotten back from the garage. Turns out all that was wrong with it was I'd killed that battery _again_.

Other than my bed though I didn't really have a lot of stuff. I mean I had my clothes, my C.D's, my guitar, some photo's and that really it. I'd have to buy a couch, and a T.V since I didn't have my own. Since I had my own suit cases I started shoving all of my clothes into them. Once that was done I realized I still had one empty suitcase, so I put my C.D's in their, along withal my makeup and other random things that didn't really have a place.

After that though I was done. It hadn't even taken me half an hour to finish and now I was just plain bored. It was only 9pm but I didn't really feel like going out. The best thing would probably to just get some sleep so I can be out of the house before Sadie woke up.

Thinking that I just realized I'd have a problem. I had already taken apart my bed and put it in my car. _Where the heck was I going to sleep?_


	9. Dancing Drama

**heres the next ch. please don't get mad i know everyone once some Jommy action and it will happen i just couldnt have Jude give just like that. the club by the way is completely made up with the help of my ever annoying brothers. well PLZ R&R tell me what ya think of it so far. i own nada of instant star.****  
**

**Dancing Drama**

**Jude's POV**

I always thought living on my own would be so cool and exiting, but in reality its just plain BORING. I can't invite anyone over because all my current friends well don't really seem to like me much. Sadie would find a way to ruin it, Kat would claim I was making a move on Jamie if I invited him, and if I invited Kat all she would talk about was how in love her and Jamie are, thinking that she was rubbing it in my face.

_I really need to get some new friends_. Seriously all my current ones were either assholes, really jealous, drunks, or just plain weird.

Maybe I'll just go clubbing tonight. It was already my second night living by myself and I was kind of lonely. The only person who really knows that I'm living on my own is Sadie and so far she's kept her promise.

Okay so clubbing. I wonder if there are any new clubs around here they should let me even without ID, but just in case I'd take my fake ID

---------------------------------------

When I got to Diva Dive, which was supposed to be the hottest thing ever, at least for now, I couldn't believe how many people that were here. I hadn't ever heard of the before now. I had decided on wearing a shiny light blue mini skirt, a tight black wife beater, with some really cute black sandals. I had thought I looked pretty good but looking around I saw way hotter girls around, in much more revealing clothes. I started feeling pretty uncomfortable what with some of the girls glaring at me and some of the guys staring at, but you know what? I came here to have some fun and that's what I'm going to.

Deciding that, I went on to the dance floor and just started dancing, not caring what people thought. I ended up grinding with a random guy who came up behind me. We danced together for a few dances, each one getting more provocative, him started to move his hands all over my body, until all of a sudden I was pulled off the dance floor. I turned around trying to see who the heck was pulling me off the dance and came face to face with Tommy.

I could literally feel the shock on my face. What right did he have to interfere with_my _life? What the heck did I ever do to him? I hadn't slept with anyone in _his _family!

"What the hell Tommy!!! You have no right!!!" I spat at him more angry than I knew I rightly should have been

"I have no right? I'm not the one dressed like a hooker!!"

"No, you're the one who sleeps with them." I told him a sweetly as possible, when all I really wanted to do was scratch out his eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about? Is this all because I slept with Sadie? You and I aren't dating, so I can do whatever the fuck I want."

Instantly after saying that he looked shocked like he couldn't believe he'd really said that to me. But he couldn't take it back and I wasn't going to forget.

"Well since your_not_ my boyfriend, I think I have a right to do what I want, and if I want to be dancing or sleeping with every guy in here its not _any _of your concern. So ya I think I'll see you much later, like at the studio."

With that, i pulled out of his grip and stormed off, not really in the mood for a club after having to deal with Tommy, but not wanting to look like I was leaving just because he had told me to. So trying to make it look like I was ignoring him I danced 3 more songs, each with a different guy.

After that though I just couldn't take it, so I left not really caring what he thought I was doing one way or another, planning on just going back to my apartment and have a nice relaxing bath before going to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

**Tommy's POV**

(earlier)

After leaving the studio for the day I decided to try and just relax and forget all the drama with Jude and Sadie and go to a club a new club called Diva Dive, with some old friends. First though I had to try and figure a way to make up my being an ass.

I could send her flowers or something but then she might take that the wrong way, since we really still can't be together. Maybe I could throw her a big 17th birthday party, or get her a new guitar. Damn, all these thing are ways to make up for little mistakes. I need something to make up for a whopper of one.

Finally, fully frustrated with myself, I got ready for the club. When I was almost ready I decided I'd go by taxi since I was pretty sure I was going to get pretty wasted.

When I got to it was really hopping, packed wall to wall with people. I danced briefly before going back to the bar for a drink and to look around for my buddies. They were supposed to be here all ready but I couldn't see them anywhere. They were probably just lost in the crowd.

Feeling a little self-pity, I ordered another drink, and turned around to watch the different people dancing. All of a sudden I spotted Nick, one of my so-called buddies who were supposed to meet me here. He was dancing with this really cute chick from what I could see from a back view. I studied them waiting for her to turn around he could see what she looked like. What he knew so far was that she looked really good in a mini skirt and wife beater. She had this incredible red hair that I'd only seen before on Jude. Then she turned around and I almost had a heart attack.

That girl was no other than _my_ Jude. What was _my_ Jude doing here dancing like that? Wearing clothing like that? She should be at home in bed not acting like some common slut.

Feeling a rush of anger I rushed over a pulled her away from him, and off the dance floor. When she saw who was dragging her she had such a look of shock that I almost just said sorry and left her alone. But then she opened her mouth.

"What the hell Tommy!!! You have no right!!!" I felt my own anger rising at her words and yelled back angrily,

"I have no right? I'm not the one dressed like a hooker!!" Oh shit did I just call Jude a hooker? I did, oh god why do I always make things worse. I felt a moment of remorse that didn't last, once she opened her mouth again.

"No, you're the one who sleeps with them."

"What the hell are you talking about? Is this all because I slept with Sadie? You and I aren't dating, so I can do whatever the fuck I want." Damn me into hell. I'm such an ass that even _I_ know it. I felt so bad after saying that since she did have a reason to be angry and I just kept rubbing it in her face. I knew I'd pay for saying that to her and I did with what she said next.

"Well since your_not_ my boyfriend, I think I have a right to do what I want, and if I want to be dancing or sleeping with every guy in here its not _any _of your concern. So ya I think I'll see you much later at the studio."

After hearing her say that I knew I'd pushed her too far. I had wanted to make it up to her for sleeping with Sadie but I had just made it so much worse. When she pulled herself out of my grip and started walking off I let her go. If I kept her with me I'd just end up hurting her so much more than I already have.

I kept an eyes while she danced a while longer, before eventually leaving, thankfully alone. I had been scared she might really go home with some guy she just met and do god knows what, and I don't think I could take Jude becoming one of _those_ girls. The ones who sleep around, getting drunk and stoned every night.

I couldn't keep doing this to her. She was right I had no claim over her, although I wanted some so badly. If only she was a few years older I could date her without any guilt at taking advantage of her youth. As it is I feel like a dirty old man, lusting after a 16 year old.

Deciding I'd just have to try and ignore the attraction I left soon after Jude, since all I ever seem to do is hurt her, hoping for the first time that night that she doesn't forgive me, because if she came to me willing and eager I knew I wouldn't have the strength to resist giving her anything she wanted.


	10. Interruptions

so heres the next chapter, and its in honor of me actually passing all my exams, even chem. hope you enjoy. if anyone has any tips for me to make it better PLZ say so I want to try and improve it. plz R&R. I own nothing of instant star. srry for any spelling mistakes but in my defense it's2am.

Interruptions

Jude's POV

"So Jude how's the song going?" Looking up from my notebook, I saw Darius staring at me with an expectant look on his face.

"Uh, yep its coming along. It will be ready for tonight. I just have a few tweaks to do here and there."

"Well that's good, I was just worried since I haven't been getting any updates from Tommy, so I figured something must be wrong." Darius said obviously fishing for the reason.

"Well I wanted it to be a surprise, and Tommy understands that." I had to think fast, I couldn't let him think there was anything going on. If he did I would be so screwed, he might even want to use it for media and I just couldn't take having something that was still so raw on display for the entire world.

"Ok then I'll leave you to it then. Make us a hit."

"Uh-huh." Trying to do as he asked and make the song a hit, I found my mind wandering.

Over the past two days I had gone out of my was to stay away from Tommy. Just looking at him was like a glaring reminder that I wasn't good enough for him, even though I know that I shouldn't feel this way. If anything he's not good enough for me, but my stupid head doesn't seem to be able to get that through to my heart.

Giving up on trying to alter the song anymore, I got up and decided to go back to my apartment until it was time come back. I still wasn't sure if I should be singing this song since Tommy will know how I feel. But on the other hand it was a really, really good song, even by my standards. It had been a sort of vent for all of these confusing feelings, and while I knew it was kind of harsh that was just the way I had been feeling and it's their fault anyways.

I left G-Major and took the bus back to my apartment. When I reached it I let out a relieved sigh. It had been sort of my haven since the incident with Tommy at the club. It was the one place where I didn't feel like I was disappointing someone. At G-Major I felt like I was disappointing Darius and all my fans. When I talked with or about Sadie I felt like I was letting her down, even though she had done everything to herself. The only person I knew I really shouldn't be feeling bad about was Tommy, but in a way I felt like I let him down the most. The way he looks at me sometimes like it's _my_ fault that this is all happening.

Walking around my apartment I was stuck at how right it all felt. Living on my own, taking care of just myself, even though I did feel guilty about leaving Sadie to fend for herself in her present condition. It really wasn't her fault she was so messed up. She had had to deal with knowing Dad was cheating all by herself and keep it a secret which had to have been hard considering she had always been closer to Mom than I had. The biggest thing though was that he had used Sadie as a way to sneak around with his _mistress_, like he didn't know what it was doing to her.

Mad at myself for thinking such depressing thoughts, I made myself start to get ready for tonight.

I set out my dress on my bed, along with the matching heels and the make-up I'd have to apply later. Once I was sure I had everything out that I would need I went to have a nice relaxing bath, knowing I had to be strong tonight and not let stupid Tommy or stupid Sadie get to me and put my knew I-pod to use and started listening to it while I tried soak out all of the pain.

-------------------------------------------------

Tommy's POV

Getting ready for the party had been easier than I had thought it would. Since it had been Darius's idea, he was the one who oversaw everything leaving me to think about Jude and what I was going to do. I had to get her to be either willing to work with me or get her to request a knew producer, since I couldn't have everyone knowing what was going on between us. Well that or I'd just have to find a new job which really wouldn't be that hard, now that I thought about it, after all I was Little Tommy Q, even if I despised how I'd gotten the name.

Trying to figure it all out had taken over my full attention, so much so that I didn't see the person in front of me until I had run right into her.

"Tommy! I've been leaving you messages, but you hadn't gotten back to me so I decided to come see you at work. We really need to coordinate our clothes for tonight don't you think? I want us to look really good together, so I think I'm going to wear the knee length red dress. You know the one with the pink trim?" Looking at Sadie, I was so confused I didn't even know where to start. Since when were we dating, and I knew for a fact I hadn't asked anyone to come with me to the party.

"Sadie what the hell are you talking about?" I asked, slightly incredulous.

"The party tonight. You are taking me right? I mean we are dating!! How would it look like if you didn't take your girlfriend, but some trashy slut!!" Sadie said, starting to sound slightly hysterical.

"Sadie we are not dating. What we did at your house was a mistake. It happened almost by accident don't you understand? You were drunk and I just don't like you like that." I tried to say as gently as possible.

"Huh, well you like me enough to sleep with me!!" She threw back at me.

"Sadie lets not do this here, please. Just go home, get Jude to make you some coffee or something to sober you up." I said trying to be the rational one here, since she smelling slightly of vodka.

"Jude!! You've got to be kidding me!! Why would I even let her do that after she keeps trying to split us up. Anyways she's not even living with me anymore, she got her own apartment." Sadie said with a bit of a sneer in her voice.

"When?" I asked slightly desperate. How could Jude just move and not tell anyone? She's not even old enough to live by herself.

"Well a few days ago I guess. Why? It's not like it a concern of yours. She's just being a spoiled little brat. She'll move back in once she figures out how hard it is to live by herself. Till then I have the house all to myself, so if you ever wanted to come over we could have some fun, if you know what I mean." Sadie said with obvious innuendo in her voice.

"Sadie can you just focus for two fricken' seconds!! Where did Jude move to?" I asked getting more and more frustrated by the minute. Couldn't she understand I didn't have any feelings for her? Couldn't she understand that Jude needed her help, not her criticism?

"The fens worth hotel on third street. Apartment 59," Sadie said grudgingly obviously knowing would find out one way or another.

Knowing where Jude was, I quickly left G-Major, not even stopping to say thanks to Sadie, since she didn't really deserve it.

When I reached my viper I got in quickly, thinking that I had to figure something out. It was my fault Jude and Sadie weren't even talking to each other anymore, and I had to fix it, even if I had to take all of the blame.

When I reached the apartment building, I was slightly impressed. She had picked a good place to live, which was at least something. As I got to the step I buzzed an apartment at random saying I had a flower delivery since I was pretty sure Jude wouldn't let me up on her own.

Once I got in the elevator however I was hit with doubts. Was I really doing the right thing trying to interfere? Did I even have the right to after all the pain I'd caused her?

The elevator however seemed to make the decision for me when it reached her floor, and not knowing what else to do I stepped out of the elevator, and hopefully towards Jude.

When I got to her door I tried knocking and even ringing the doorbell but the was no answer. Slightly worried I tried the doorknob and found that it was unlocked. Should I go in and see if everything is all right or wait outside until either Jude comes out or something else happens? When I heard something fall from inside though I threw aside my worries and stepped inside on the off chance she might have an intrude. What I saw however was not what I expected. Jude was just coming out of what looked like the bathroom, but that's not what really shocked me. She was coming out naked, and didn't even seem to realize I was there at first, probably because of, I noted in the back of my head, the I-pod she was listening to and because her head was facing the floor as she towel dried her hair.

All I could really do was stare at her gorgeous body in shock. I had wanted this for so long, and I now that it had finally happened I knew she was even better looking than I had previously thought. Just then however, she stopped drying her hair and realized I was in her apartment, and stared at me in shock, obviously to stunned to cover herself up. Me on the other hand, I could have turned away, stopped looking, but I kind of knew this would likely be the only time I'd ever see Jude naked so I might as well look while I could, so I looked her over from head to toe trying to memorize to detail someone who would probably hate me forever, given that she had seen me naked with her sister and I had just broken into her apartment and seen her completely naked.

Yup, that's what I was looking forward to. Blind hatred.


	11. Wildness Unleashed

HAPPY VALENTINES day to all.i decided i needed something happy to happen in this story since it is valentines day so here ya go. the song i put in was one of the ones i had been thinking about using for Jude to sing but i think i've finally decided on a different one but i just couldn't let this awesome song go to waste. can anyone guess the name of it? ok well PLZ R&R. oh and i know its not technically about this story but i have a poll up for my other story and i keep forgetting to say so so if you have read the other one plx check it out. i own nothing of instant star.

**Wildness unleashed **

_Trust you is just one defense_  
_off a list of others, you don't make sense  
Beg me time and time again  
to take you back now, but you can't win  
Take back now, my life you're stealing_

As I unplugged the tub, and stood up to rinse off all the soap, I thought about what had happened in such a limited time. I had pretty much lost everyone important to me, although some weren't as bad as others.

_Yesterday was hell  
But today I'm fine without you  
Runaway this time without you  
And all I ever thought you'd be  
That face is tearing holes in me again_

Listening to the song now playing on my I-pod I couldn't help but relate to it just a bit. Every time I look at Tommy or even think of him I feel like my hearts falling apart again and again. Which really just makes me mad. I mean he screwed up why should I have to pay?

_And when the memory slips away  
There will be a better view from here  
And only lonesome you remains  
and just the thought of you I fear  
it falls away_

He just frustrates me so damn much!!! I could just be sitting there not even thinking about him, and then suddenly I realize I haven't an I feel proud of myself. That is until I realize that I had to have just thought about him to have thought that. I know eventually I'll get over him but it seems to be taking much to long.

Finishing drying off my body I started on my hair. Looking around I remembered I had put all my clothes on my bed so I didn't get any of them wet. Stupid me I hadn't even thought of a robe. Hitting my forehead with my hand for forgetting something so obvious I tipped my head upside down as I finished drying my hair, wanting to make sure I got it all dry. As I walked out of the bath room I looked up and I couldn't believe what I saw.

Tommy. Standing in MY doorway. All I could think of was what right does he have to come in here uninvited!!!! Then as a cold breeze slid through the room my mind picked up on the obvious. I was NAKED and Tommy was just standing there looking at me. I knew I should move away cover myself up but I just couldn't get my body to listen I felt like I was stuck, frozen with shock. Looking into his eyes I saw pure lust in them. I felt myself responding to that, even though I really didn't want it too.

When he took a hesitant step toward me I was a little shocked although not enough for me to actually move or get some clothes. Then all of a sudden he was right in front of me, and then he was kissing me, hard, right on the mouth. At first I was to surprised to do anything other than just stand there, completely unresponsive. Then he ran his tongue over my lips, begging entrance. I snapped I admit it. I gave him what he asked for, opening my mouth all the while sliding my tongue out to meet with his. We must have kissed for at least 5 minutes when I felt him move his hands up from my hips, which I realized somewhere in the back of my mind, were still naked, up first to my ribs slowly moving them up until they reached the undersides of my breasts. When he stopped their and didn't go any farther I almost forgot to breathe. Then, as if seeing I was just as desperate as him, he went up even higher and squeezed both of my breasts lightly.

After that I'm not really sure what happened but all of a sudden we were on my bed, and then Tommy was naked, and I was begging him for more. One second I was on top and then I was underneath him and he was inside me, and other than the brief tinge of pain, it all just felt like pure heaven. As his thrusts started getting faster and faster I knew something was coming. The whole time I had felt something building something I couldn't really describe but I knew I wanted badly, real badly. All of a sudden I felt my body begin to shudder and I felt the most exquisite pleasure ever in my entire life.

"Tommy" I moaned almost to quietly too hear, as I started coming down from the high I had been on. I became aware that Tommy was still moving inside of me. I started thrusting back, wanting him to feel what I just had. I felt him start to shake and he had the weirdest look on his face I had ever seen. It seemed to be a mix of pleasure and pain.

Afterwards we just laid there, completely relaxed. As I felt myself slowly drifting off to sleep, I suddenly opened my eyes wide. What I'd done hit me? I had slept with Tommy, lost my virginity to him, even though I hated him, even though him and Sadie were dating. How could I be so stupid? I was supposed to hate Tommy but looking at him I couldn't muster up any emotion other than love. I couldn't let Tommy know other wise he might use it to hurt me and I didn't think I could take that again. Looking at Tommy I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how hot he looked naked and in my bed.

_I am so screwed._


	12. Regrets

god i meant to post this yesterday but ive been feeling crappy and i started watching the Brave One, which is by the way an aesome movie you should watch it, so i didnt realyl have time to edit it till today so heres the next chapter wont be to many more after this, since theirs not really much more going to happen and i dont want to drag it out. PLZ R&R the more i get the faster i review. thanks to all whove reviewed and espiceally letitrain810 for the song idea which really fits everything perfectly. i own nothing of Instant star.

**Regrets**

Tommy's POV

_Crap, crap, crap!! _

I pushed myself up so I was leaning on my elbows, and stared at Jude, trying to figure everything out. She was just so different from everyone else I'd ever met. She could be funny at the tensest of times, get me to relax and have fun when all I wanted to do was pull out my hair. At other times I want to pull _her _hair out, like when she's being stubborn about one of her song's and then all of a sudden she says something or does something and I'm just not mad anymore. I had always known that if we ever got together that it would be good but what we just shared was amazing, mind-blowing in the best of ways, but she's only 16, she can't now what she wants and I just took advantage of that, even though I knew I shouldn't have.

I know now that I really do need her, that I won't be able to just give her up, but what if she doesn't want me anymore? What if, despite what we just shared, she hates me for all I've put her through? Or worse, what if she's right, and she's better off without me?

------------------------------------

Jude's POV

_Shit, shit, shit!!!!_

How the hell do I get out of this one? Thanks Tommy, had an awesome time, lets never see each other ever again, okay?

On one hand I want to stay with him and date him but on the other hand he's just such an ass, and technically he's dating Sadie, at least she said he was, but she has lied to me before. God this is all so confusing, I should probably just get him out of my apartment so I can get ready for the show.

"Tommy would you please get some clothes on and leave my apartment?" I tried to make it sound like a order but I'm pretty sure it came out sound like a question. I just want him gone!!!!!

"Look Jude I can't just go we need to talk about" he waved in the direction of me and then back at himself "this. I've been trying so hard to stay away from you, to try to keep it a platonic relationship, but I just can't any more Jude I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sleep with Sadie I just had a moment of weakness, and I didn't mean to get mad at you or anything. I've just been so frustrated." All I could do stare him in disbelief. He wanted us get together _now_!!! After everything he's done he just expects me to forgive him after everything he's done? Rejecting me at my 16th birthday party, sleeping with Sadie, ignoring me, and then later acting like it was no big deal!!!!

"You know what Quincy? You can just go screw yourself!! Or is it Sadie your screwing today? I'm still not to sure about that one. You think you can just come in here and seduce me and everything you've done wrong will just go away? Give me a break, I'm not one of your brainless bimbo's who believe everything that comes out of your mouth like it's the holy grail." I knew I sounded bitter but I'd just had to much of him and all of his bullshit. I may love him, but I'll get over it now rather than have my heart broken later. Not caring if he saw me naked or not, considering what we'd just done I got out of the bed, picked up the clothes I'd need for tonight, went into the bathroom and locked the door. I just hoped he'd be gone when I got out, or else I just might lose it and attack him with a toaster or something.

-------------------------------------------

Tommy's POV 

I know I deserve everything she said but I couldn't help but hope she'd be able to forgive me. Even though I knew our ages would be a problem I couldn't help but care about her, more than I've ever cared about someone before.

After what she'd said I was surprised when I saw her jump out of her bed and start picking up the clothes she'd need, as if she didn't care that she was naked right in front of me. I couldn't help but stare at her. She had such a nice little body, and I found my eyes going from her face to her breast, done to her legs and then starting up from the top again, while she looked like she wasn't even aware that I was watching her. I was tempted to go up to her a try kissing her again, just to and see if she felt anything for me, but I had a feeling she wouldn't be to receptive to that idea.

Guessing that she wouldn't be to happy if I was still here when she came out, I looked around for my clothes which were scattered around her apartment. Well since I'm already here I might as well have a look around. As I looked around I couldn't help but admire her apartment. It was obvious that she'd just moved in, since there was practically nothing in the apartment but it had just a good feel about it, and it was in a good neighborhood. After looking around and finding all of my clothes I walked over to the door about to leave when I remembered about locking her door. Did she want me to lock it behind myself or just leave it?

Unsure I was about to go knock on the bathroom door and ask her when I realized how ridiculous I was being. I would just lock it and leave since who knew what she'd think I wanted if I knocked on the bathroom door.

As I locked the door I took one last look around her apartment and then left, since I still had to get ready for the party at G-Major.

--------------------------------------------

Jude's POV

When I got out of the bathroom, Tommy's was thankfully gone. If he had stayed I don't think I would have been responsible for my actions. I had actually been contemplating for a second coming out and attacking him with my hair straightener. Luckily I had talked myself out of doing that, along with the toaster idea, or I think people would start to think I'd lost it. He just makes me so mad, so easily!!!

Since I had everything on other than my shoes I started looking around for them, since I knew I had tossed them somewhere. Sadly, even though I looked every where I could think of I could think of I couldn't find them and I started to panic. I needed shoes, I couldn't go on stage shoeless, the media would have a field day speculating if their was something wrong with me. As I looked in my closet for some kind of shoe that might match my dress I saw them. They were completely perfect, even better than he ones I had lost. They were a really nice deep red color and had straps that were meant to be wrapped up my leg. As I tried them on I tried to think of where I had gotten them from but my mind came up blank. Then I remembered that Sadie sometimes out her shoes in my closet since she has so many of them and not enough room. I must have taken them with me by accident.

Looking down at my feet I knew they matched everything really well.

Looking at the clock I realized I would be late if I didn't get going pretty soon. Picking up my purse I left my apartment, barely remembering to lock the door behind me I was so nervous. What if they didn't like my song? What if they figured out who had inspired it? I really didn't need people to start saying that I liked Tommy in that way, even though I do.

As I got into my car I tried to calm myself down. Everything would be fine, they would love my song and if they didn't well then screw them, its not like they have the guts to go up on stage and sing in front of a ton of people. Shaking myself out of my minds wanderings I tried to pay attention as I drove to G-Major, since I really didn't need to get in an accident now.

Once I reached G-major I took a second before I got out to make my face expressionless, I didn't need to insult some big label dude by looking mad. After calming myself down as much as possible I exited my car, and walked into G-major, where I was immediately attacked by EJ.

"Jude you look fabulous, but why aren't you wearing the shoes I borrowed you? Not that the ones your wearing are any less gorgeous but I was just wondering that if you didn't want them if I could have them back?"

"Uh, I just misplaced them and didn't have time to look for them, but you'll get them back I promise." I really didn't want to get on EJ bad side since she was the one in charge of what I wear in front of the media.

"Well good. Oh, and Darius was looking for you, something about maybe going on earlier than expected."

"Oh, thanks I'll just go find him." Thank god I have a reason to leave this conversation. EJ was a really good stylist and everything, we just had completely different styles.

Looking around for Darius I found him talking to who else but Tommy. Walking up to them I wanted nothing else but to leave, run back home and hide under my blanket even though I knew I couldn't.

"Darius, EJ said there was something you wanted talk to me about?" I asked slightly hesitant, since I still wasn't sure what kind of boss he would be.

"Good, you're here Jude. Well one of the representatives here from a big label can't stay the whole night and since I want him to hear you sing I said we'd start sooner."

"How much sooner is sooner?"

"Well, actually how's right now? Just go back stage and wait for them to announce you."

"Okay."

As I walked away I couldn't stop myself from looking at Tommy who looked so yummy in a suit. I had noticed him staring at me while I was talking to Darius, and I couldn't help but wonder why. Oh well it's none of my business, I should just be ignoring him,

Determined to do just that I headed backstage, picked up my guitar from Studio 1 since I would be going on stage by myself, and waited for them to call my name.

Just as I started to let my mind wander I heard them call out my name, so I jumped up and started walking towards the spotlight.


	13. Forgiving, But Not Forgetting

heres the ext chapter sorry it took so long been busy. thanks for all the reviews they made me super happy. i know im speeding things up pretty quick but i have another idea for a fanfic and i really wanna start on it but not until im done this one. i can only handle so many stories at a time.PLZ R&R tell me if theres something you really want to happen to them and maybe i'l add it in dont really know . i own nada of instant star.

**Forgiving, But Not Forgetting?**

**Jude's POV**

_Okay just breath, breathe, can't have a panic attack now._

Looking out at the crowd I couldn't help but be nervous. This seemed to happen every time I preformed, I'd get all nervous and then I'd relax.

Trying to be casual about it, I tried to see if Sadie was in the crowd, I needed some kind of support, even if it was from Sadie. I finally spotted her but, I was disappointed to see, she wasn't paying attention to me or the stage, just trying to flirt with some guys.

Fine then if she doesn't need me, then I don't need her.

As I walked to the center of the stage I felt a kind of calm go through me, like my body knew before I did that everything would be alright.

_Here goes nothing._

**Tommy's POV**

Looking up at Jude on the stage I couldn't help but admire her, sure she'd given me the brush off earlier, but even with all the drama in her life she'll still be able to sound amazing up their.

I made myself pay more attention, since she was just about to start. I really wanted to know what her lyrics would be, they always seemed to give me an idea of how she was feeling.

_**Its strange to think the songs we used to sing**_

_**The smiles, the flowers, everything; is gone**_

_**Yesterday I found out about you**_

_**Even now I'm just looking at you; feels wrong**_

_**You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance**_

_**It was a moment of weakness and you said yes.**_

_God she's talking to about us. She sound's fantastic, but I can still hear the pain in her voice. I really hadn't meant to hurt her!! She has no idea what I would do if i could just turn back time to that night and not do what I did._

_**You should've said no, you should've gone home**_

_**You should've thought twice before you let it all go**_

_**You should've known that word, bout what you did with her **_

_**Would get back to me… get back to me**_

_**And I should've been there, in the back of your mind**_

_**I shouldn't be asking myself why**_

_**You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet…**_

_**You should've said no, baby and you might still have me**_

_Oh Jude, why dud I have to be so damn stupid? Why couldn't I have kept my damn hormones under control? If I had then I might have been with you right now._

_**You can see that I've been crying**_

_**And baby you know all the right things; to say**_

_**But do you honestly expect me to believe **_

_**We could ever be the same…..**_

_I hadn't thought I'd actually made you cry!! I thought you were just pissed at me, not that I had made you so sad and miserible that you would start crying!!_

**Jude's POV**

_**You say that the past is the past, you need one chance**_

_**It was a moment of weakness and you said yes….**_

_**You should've said no, you should've gone home**_

_**You should've thought twice before you let it all go**_

_**You should've known that word, bout what you did with her**_

_**Would get back to me… get back to me**_

_**And I should've been there, in the back of your mind**_

_**I shouldn't be asking myself why**_

_**You shouldn't be begging forgiveness at my feet….**_

_**You should've said no, baby and you might still have me**_

_How could he have expected me to just accept him after everything? Like just because it was a one time thing made it any less worse!! If you had really cared about me you would've been thinking about what you were doing to me when you slept with Sadie._

_**I can't resist.. Before you go, tell me this **_

_**Was it worth it…**_

_**Was she worth this….**_

_I actually would like to know. Was sleeping with Sadie worth everything that was happening now? Was brushing me off time and time again worth all the fighting, the pain, the heartache?_

_**No.. no no no….**_

_Some how I doubt that you thought it was worth everything but I couldn't be sure, since you did sleep with her. You hadn't even tried to hide it!! I mean come on you had to of been wanting to get caught, doing that our house!!!_

_**You should've said no, you should've gone home**_

_**You should've thought twice before you let it all go**_

_**You should've known that word, bout what you did with her**_

_**Would get back to me… get back to me**_

_**And I should've been there, in the back of your mind**_

_**I shouldn't be asking myself why**_

_**You shouldn't be asking for forgiveness at my feet…**_

_**You should've said no, baby and you might still have me**_

As I ended the song I couldn't help but feel like crying. I had tried to pour out every hurt feeling, every time my heart had been crushed by an idiot guy. I might have gone to far considering how emotional it has gotten me. As I started to get off the stage I saw Tommy trying to work his way towards me, and I admit I freaked a little bit. I tried to hurry to the dressing room and lock the door, so he wouldn't be able to even come close to me, but since he wasn't wearing a dress he could walk much faster than me, and cornered me just before I could step in.

"Jude we really need to talk. Now." Just the way he said it I knew he wouldn't except any argument on my part so I just followed him in. I knew I'd have to forgive him someday I just really didn't want it to have to be today.

_The sooner we get this over with the better._

**Tommy's POV**

"Jude, I am so sorry. I love you do you know that? I just.." arrgg, why can't I just say it? Why does my stupid head have to always screw things up? "… I just .. your age was always a big deal to me okay? I've tried everything I could to make sure I didn't fall for you, cause to be honest, you deserve better than me, but I just couldn't stop myself. Your everything I've ever wanted. The thing with Sadie, well really don't know why I did what I did. I feel absolutely nothing for her, and I'm not trying to make excuses, but I was just wanting you so badly that night, that I let my hormones rule over my head. You're the last person I would ever want to hurt Jude. Please tell me you believe me!!!"

I had been pacing back and forth as I was talking but once I finished I made myself stop and look at Jude's face.

At first all I saw was pain, then disbelief, some anger. Then i think that maybe, just maybe, a little bit of love? I could only hope. I couldn't lose her know not after finally realizing how much I needed her.

"Tommy I just can't keep doing this. I really thought you might be different but after everything you've done I'm just not sure anymore. I can forgive you if that's what you really want, but Tommy I just can't get into a relationship with you. You just went to far, and you brought Sadie and me down with you. So I'll continue working with you but that's it. I won't put myself through this again. And about earlier well I really did not want that too happen. There will be no repeats and I just want us to forget it even happened. Ok?"

As she was talking I could see her gradually falling apart. I really wanted to do as she said and leave her alone romantically, but I knew I wouldn't be able. I'd win her back one way or another. She needed me as much as I needed her. I just have to prove it to her.

"No Jude, it's not okay. How could you even think I could forget what we shared. It meant more to me than you could ever imagine!! I really am sorry about everything I've done to you, and I wish that what we shared could have happened at a better time, I will never regret it and I don't want you to either."

"Tommy I-I just have to go. Please just leave me alone. I can't take this or you so just back the fuck off!!!!

With that Jude quickly left the room. I understood why she was so mad and sad. I also knew I'd have my work cut out for me, to make up for Sadie and then for taking her virginity when she was so confused, but I knew somehow I would. With that thought in my head I decided to start right now. Taking out my phone I knew just the thing to start with.

**Jude's POV**

When he had started to speak I had, had a sort of revelation. I was still mad at him, but I knew that if I didn't forgive him I would never be able to get over him. Sure I was still in love with him, but I could get over that, given enough time.

If only he had promised to leave me alone, but I'm pretty sure he's going to do everything to try and get me to change my mind.

As I re-entered the crowd I tried to think of an excuse to get me out of here, without making Darius or anyone else mad. Maybe I could pretend to be sick, say I had thrown up or something. He wouldn't let me be any where near these people if he thought I was going to throw up on them.

Since that was probably the only way he'd let me go, I tried to make myself look as sick as possible, and after I mentioned throwing up he told me to go home.

Walking away from Darius I couldn't help but think of how my life had changed in such a short time. I had gone from being invisible to being a rock star, from hating Tommy for being a boybander to loving him for just being himself, then back to hating him for sleeping with Sadie and now I was right back at loving him.

_Why is life so hard? So unfair? So damn screwed up? If you hate someone you should stay hating them not all of a sudden fall in love with them._

"Stupid Tommy with his stupid charm and stupid decieving good looks." I started mumbling to myself as I reached my car and took out my keys. I had known all of this at the beginning and still I had let myself fall.

Still mad at myself I started the car and drove back to my apartment. Once I found a parking space I went into the building and started up to my apartment.

When I got there I found myself being completely shocked. There was a florist sitting outside my apartment with what looked like at least 20 different bouquets of flowers. When he saw me coming he stood up immediately.

"Are you Jude Harrison by any chance?"

"Yes why?"

"Well these are all for you. I was requested to wait with them until you got back to make sure you got them. I was told you would know who they were from?"

"Yes, I have a pretty good idea of who sent them." I replied tersely, really wanting him to just leave.

"Well if you could just sign here I will be able to leave you alone."

Signing quickly, I really couldn't believe what he'd done. I had told him to leave me alone!! And what does he do? Buys me a bunch of stupid flowers.

Looking up I discovered the man had left while I had been preoccupied by my thoughts.

Taking out my apartment key, I opened my apartment door and started to bring all the flowers in. Once they were all inside I locked up my apartment and decided to see if they had any cards with them. As mad as I was with Tommy for sending me them I was kind of touched. No one else had ever sent me flowers, especially not this many.

Knowing I was weakening I tried to think of all the thing he'd done, which helped slightly, by getting me a bit mad at him.

When I looked at the cards though I knew I was doomed. Each said something different.

One said _I'm sorry, _another said _Please forgive me?_, while another said_I love you_. Reading some more I found one that said _I cant live with out you _and then the last one I read surprised me the most. It said _Marry Me? _I ask him to leave me alone, and his reply is to ask me to_ MARRY_ him?

_What the fuck??????_


	14. Unanswered Questions

**i am soooooooooo sorry it took so long for me to update, wish i had an excuse as to why but honestly i dont its just been a few crappy weeks with everything just going wrong. hope you enjoy this chapter I'll try and get the next one posted within a day or two at the latest. PLZ R&R. i own ntohing of instant star. hope you enjoy.  
**

**Unanswered Questions**

**Jude's POV**

He wants me to marry him? Has he all of a sudden become delusional?

As I paced back and forth in my apartment I had to admit to myself that I had briefly felt joy when I read the last note, but only momentarily I assured myself, only momentarily.

He must have done it as a joke, thinking _hey why don't I freak Jude completely the hell out, wouldn't that just be hilarious? _

Okay, there has to be a logical explanation. Maybe, um maybe the flowers were delivered to the wrong place!! I mean that happens all the time, right?

I'll just call him, and he'll explain why he's been drinking and we can just move past this. As I reached for my phone, I suddenly realized I couldn't call him, not if I didn't want him coming down here, and who knows what might happen then? Or what if he wanted to discuss what had happened in my apartment early? I mean yea I thought my first time would be a little more planned but I doubt talking about it will make it any better. No I should just wait till tomorrow, and discuss it then. He's probably asleep by now, and me calling him would just disturb him. Or better yet I can just pretend it never happened!!

_It was probably just a mistake anyways. Or maybe a brief lapse in sanity._

I should just move on with my life, starting with my music. Looking at the clock it was only about 11:28pm and I knew I wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon, so I grabbed my car keys and decided to drive over to G-Major and do something useful with my time, and what's more useful than writing a new song?

**Tommy's POV**

_Why hasn't she called?_

That's what I had been thinking over and over again all through the night. She had gotten them. I know that for certain that she did, since the florist called me back, even described what she looked like. I had expected her to call, if only to yell at me. I mean I know I kind of came out of the blue with a marriage proposal, but to be completely honest, I've just had enough of staying away from Jude this whole time, so why should I have to? I mean people would still object, what with the age difference, but I just don't really care right now, I want Jude and I'm not going to live my life without her. Maybe I should just call her!! Yea that might work, or she might just think I've turned into some weird stalker dude. Crap, I have pretty much no solution. I can look like a stalker or I can go crazy wondering about how she reacted. Maybe I acted to soon. Maybe I should have gotten her to trust me a bit more before taking such a big leap.

_I can't just sit here and do nothing!!!_

Looking up at my clock I discovered it was already 1am. Maybe I should just go back to the studio and work on some of Jude's tracks? That would at least take up some time.

Determined to at least get something done, instead of just staring at a wall and worrying, I drove over to G-Major all the while thinking of Jude.

I had been fascinated by her the first moment I'd met her, I had to admit to myself at the very least if to no one else. Most girls when they realized I was going to be their producer would have been jumping up and down squealing about how lucky they were, but not Jude. No instead of that Jude had actually seemed mad and disappointed. I mean I know I have a it of an ego but I never thought I could get that insulted by someone of little to no importance, no less that that person happened was a teenager. So I admit that I might not have been that nice to her in the beginning but she just always seems to bring out the worst in me, even when I hadn't even really known her. She just gets under my skin, with those big eyes and gorgeous hair and hot little body. Even when I actually try to be nice to her and do the right thing she takes it the wrong way, acting like I did something completely wrong. Like when I tried to warn her about Shay, I was just looking out for her best interest.

She just kept surprising me, over and over again, whether it was with a new song that just blew my mind, or like the first time she had a gig and had kissed me. Even though I put a stop to it right away I hadn't really wanted to. The only reason I had was because I knew Jude was just reacting to everything that was happening to her, and the fact that Georgia would probably make it so I wouldn't be able to walk straight for a long time if I ever did anything with one of her artists. I mean I like Jude a lot but at the time I wasn't about to risk my manhood for a quick fling.

Now though I think I would risk it, if only I could get Jude to actually trust me again. I mean, I'm sort of expecting her to throw something at me next time she sees me, but hopefully it'll be something that won't hurt that and I'm pretty I did the right thing anyway with proposing. I mean, I should have done it in person, but frankly, Jude can be pretty scary when she's mad, and I wasn't too sure how she might react.

Reaching G-Major I walked out of my car and stared at shock at Jude's car. Why had she come back here? Should I go in and talk to her or just leave her in peace? I mean she obviously came here for some peace and quiet but I really want to talk to her. She might even be able to give me the answer I hoped for about the whole proposing thing. Staring at her car and then back at G-Major undecided, the choice was pretty much taken out of my hands when Jude walked out of G-Major and saw me standing their, shock all over her pretty little face.

Jude's POV

_What the hell is he doing here?_

That's what I was thinking over and over again. I had thought I would be safe at G-Major, get some time to think, without having to have people sticking in their two-cents, but I think I just got a pretty big eye-opener on what really happens in here at night, that people do indeed come here at night, and not to work. So far this night I had interrupted Sadie making out with Kwest, which was frankly disgusting even though Kwest had the decency to look embarrassed while Sadie just asked if I could leave so thy could continue, EJ do a very inappropriate thing on Darius's desk with a guy who looked sort of familiar but since I hadn't really stuck around to find out who I wasn't to sure, and seeing a new office temp. having sex in the girls bathroom with what looked like her sisters boyfriend. I had pretty much ended up locked in the studio hoping that they would all just go away and leave me alone so I could think. I mean it is seriously disturbing thinking about what other employees might have done in here, so much so that I doubt I'll be going into any offices unless absolutely necessary. Really why don't they just go home and do whatever they were going to do their. I mean the office temp. person probably wouldn't be able to but Sadie had a big empty house and I'm sure EJ did to

When I had actually started to think about it, I had realized that I was in Tommy's studio, and what if had done the dirty with one of his blond bimbos? He's had quite a few in the time I've known him so who says they didn't do something right here where I'm sitting?

_God I've need to get out of this building before I start imagining someone like Darius in here. Yuck._

Totally sickened by now, I had grabbed my coat and left G-Major, being careful to watch for any couples doing something weird, and just as I walked out of G-Major knew that God must hate me. Why else would all of these horrible things keep happening to me? Cause right next to my car stood Tommy in all his glory, obviously debating on whether or not to enter G-Major.


	15. AN:SORRY

**Hey all**

** I am soooososososososososo sorry to do this (PLZ dont send flames) but im pretty sure if I don't im going to fail physics and maybe precal. This story is going to temporarily put on hiatus for about a month, just until I can catch up on all my work. I might try to sneak in a chapter if I have time but I doubt it. I WILL finish the story though I promise its just really need to pass my courses. i am really sorry.  
**


	16. Harsh Endings Their will be a sequel

okay my temporary hiatis is over, thank god, ive had enough of pre-cal to last a life. so heres the last chapter, dont hate me once you read it, their WILL BE A SEQUEL, i just didnt want to end it predictably. So plz R&R. plz tell me what you think about this chapter, it was kind of strange to right and i'm not sure if i did their characters properly.i own nothing of instant star.

**Harsh Endings**

**Jude's POV**

"H-hey Tommy. What are you doing here?" I asked nervously.

Why did he always have to show when I least wanted to see him!! Why couldn't he just give me space, or better yet go play with one of his bimbo's and leave me the hell alone.

"Well I was planning to work on your record but since you're here maybe we could talk about, well everything?" Tommy asked me obviously nervous. What did he expect, that I was going to throw my shoe at him? Although now that I think about it, it does sound kind of intriguing……

"Yes, I would but you know its late and I should be going home and all so if you could just let me pass…"

Leaving however was obviously not going to be an option. As soon as I finished talking his face got the most determined look I'd ever seen on his face, and I knew that he would make me talk to him, one way or another.

"Look Jude I know this might be awkward , and I get why you wouldn't want to talk to me about everything, but Jude I'm not going to give in about this. We might not talk now but we _will _talk, do you understand me? I won't take **no** for an answer!! So what's it going to be, here and now or do you just want to keep prolonging it? I can wait as long as you can, but I think you'd agree that we might as well get it over and done with."

Why was he doing this to me? Couldn't he see that I didn't want to be having this conversation? But looking at his face I knew he won't give up.

"Fine. Talk. I'm listening." I said with as much force as I could. He couldn't see me weakening even for a second.

"I want to know your answer." Tommy said almost immediately after I had stopped talking.

_Okay so just play dumb Jude and maybe he'll just forget the whole thing_, I told myself as i tried to think of a way out of this.

"The answer to what?" I asked in a nervous voice, hoping Tommy would just let me be.

"You know the answer to that question as well as I do Jude, and I want an answer. If you don't give it to me then I guess I'll just have to follow you around until you do, won't I?" Tommy finished off, sounding so serious.

_Why me?_

**Tommy POV**

Why is she making me wait? Honestly by now she has to know how she's going to answer and is just doing this on purpose, to punish me for everything I've done.

"Tommy I really don't know what to say. I-I mean all this time you've been telling me that we c-can't, t-th-that you wouldn't, that you weren't that guy and then you drop something like that and expect me to take it without a thought? I can't turn my emotions on and off like you seem to be able to, Tommy!!" Jude finished, her voice slightly quivering over the last few words.

God what do I say now? That I'm sorry and I never meant to hurt Jude like that? That I just wanted the best for her, and the best was most definitely not me? That the only reason I was asking her this now was because I was just plain giving up on trying to resist her? That she was too good for someone with as much baggage as me?

"Jude, I know I've been confusing you and that I'm not making it any easier for you but I love you, okay? At fist I was, I guess you could say, infatuated with you, but after spending so much time with, heard how much passion you put into your music, I just love you." I tried to keep calm as I said the last few words as fast as possible, knowing that I was probably just going to be rejected after pretty much baring my soul to her.

"Y-you love me?" Jude asked me with obvious disbelief in her voice. "You love me now, when you can't have me is that it Tommy?" _Oh crap._ "Does the fact that I no longer _need, _or _want _you hurt little Tommy boys feelings? You think you can just waltz in and out of my life whenever and however you want and I'm just going to sit back and take you back every time? I lost my virginity to you _not_ because I love you, but because I _wanted_ you, two very different things, at least in my book they are. And as of now I can't even say that _like _you anymore. You and me are through, I'll get another producer, and you and your numerous bimbo's can ride off into the sunset together. I hope you all a long and happy life," Jude finished off bitterly.

How could she not even care about me? I know I've treated her badly, that she deserved so much better than I could offer, but still, I thought she had at least some feelings for me left inside of her.

Taking one last look at Jude I walked back to my viper and drove away, thinking of how I had just stupidly lost the one girl I have ever truly cared about, for a cheap, barely bearable one night stand.

**Jude's POV**

As I watched Tommy walk away I felt the tears start to flow. I could hardly stand to just watch him walk away after all the hurtful things I had just said.

_But he deserved them, didn't he? _

I mean he slept with Sadie, so he can't really care for me, he's just one of those boys who want what they can't have. But then how did I explain to myself the hurt I saw in his eyes as he left?

He had looked so crushed, that I had been so close to just breaking down and telling him the truth, that I loved him and had probably loved him from the first second I had met him, even as I had mocked him both to his face and behind it, but then where would that leave me when he left again? Broken hearted with no self respect. I knew that even if he claimed he wouldn't leave me eventually he would get bored and leave me, like always.

So, determined to stand my ground, even if I broke my heart in doing so, I watched as Tommy, the man who should have been able to love me, but hadn't, walked out of my life, hopefully forever.


End file.
